Week 52 "One Year!"

In a couple days I hit my year mark. WHATTTTT. I have loved this year. But it has also been the most challenging year of my life. The craziest emotional rollercoaster. Starting in the Provo MTC and then to Nice, Montpellier, and now Ecully. 
I love the people I have met. The trials who have turned me into someone better. The best friends I have made here.
So this week was hard. I don't even know why it was hard. I felt so tired. I felt that I had been on my mission for 10 years and that I will be here for another 6 years. I know I know. Everyone keeps telling me, it will FLYYYY by. But this week I felt like I was walking through silly putty.

 I am going to be honest because I am an honest gal. Missions are amazing. But they are hard. I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ who helps me continue through hard moments. Sometimes I don't realized how much Jesus Christ is helping me, but when I look back, I realize I couldn't have done it without him.

One day this week, we had one lesson in the morning with a family in the ward, and then everything after that got canceled. We made calls for the week for an hour to fix rdvs for our exchange, and no one answered. It was like 4:00 and I felt like such a potato plop for sitting in the apartment all day making calls. I thought, well, at least we will have an awesome rdv with "E" (our ami) tonight and will have a fun dinner chez elle. But then 2 minutes before we were
about to leave, she calls us and says, sorry girls, I am going to have to cancel tonight, something came up. After we hung up, I just sat there staring blank faced at Soeur Cusick. She looked and me and just starts dying laughing. Because we were too emotional drained to cry so it was easier to laugh. I just tumbled to the floor and lay there like a splatted pancake. And let out a nice long scream.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Then Soeur Cusick gets out her ipad and says, "I'm doing it. I'm playing the song." And I thought, no I am really not in the mood to play a song. But then she starts playing an EFY jam. And we stand up and start doing cheer moves. Like full on cheerleading routine "go big o, high v, pump it up." And we were going crazy and just laughing our heads off. After I felt so exhausted from laughing so hard. But it felt a lot better than crying. I am so grateful for Soeur Cusick. Who is a positive person. Who makes me laugh in
situations when the last thing you feel like doing is laughing. I am grateful that she is expressive. That she likes talking out problems and thoughts. I love that she is honest and so real. That she admits to the difficulty of a mission, missing family, stress of contacting, just real mission stuff.

We had some cool miracle this week. Finally had a RDV with "T" again. Then a member brought a friend to church and we taught she and her 2 kids. She is from Portugal and has read half way through the Book of Mormon.

I love the Zinns. She made chicken broccoli casserole for Sunday dinner last night and I wanted to cry it was so good. Just some American goodness. She made it because Elder Underwood requested it for his last meal at the Zinns. He is going home in a couple weeks. I love how real the Zinns are. They are great examples to me of reaching out
to people outside of the church and never judging anyone. I just love how the gospel of Jesus Christ looks different on every person. It is the same doctrine, the same gospel, but we are unique individuals. So the gospel will look a little different on everyone. Different hair colors, sizes, shapes, different family traditions, etc. But the gospel of Jesus Christ is for everyone.

I know that Heavenly Father is watching over me and my family. Not just because I am on a mission. But because he loves me. And I feel his love. Last night there was a thunderstorm. I sat out on the porch and read the Book of Mormon and just cried. I was reading Nephi 17.
About when he heals the people who were sick in ANY manner (probably everyone) and then weeps with the children. I felt his love so strong.

Sometimes you just want to be tough and power through and be the best and never be sad. But then you realize you are weak. And you NEED Jesus Christ. And even if you always choose the right and you read your scriptures every night, you are still going to have trials. But when we let Jesus Christ into our lives, and we let him just sit by our side and comfort us, our trials become bearable. I feel of Jesus Christ's love for me. Even if my trials aren't as big as some peoples.
I feel that Christ cares what I am going through. I am so grateful for Jesus Christ. He truly gives me the strength, peace, and comfort I need every single day of this mission.



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